“Maybe I was kept a bit small and a bit withdrawn. If my parents had given me more freedom, I would probably be more assertive than I am now.”
As you grow older, it’s normal to want more space to make your own decisions. Your parents may need time to get used to this. As you become more independent, they need to take a step back and leave more decisions to you. When you become an adult, your role—and your parents’ role—changes. Sometimes parents find this difficult: they are so used to taking care of things for you that they forget it’s now about doing things with you, so that eventually you can do them completely on your own.
Some parents want to protect their children too much and shield them from making mistakes. But only by doing things yourself can you discover what you are already capable of independently and what you still need to learn. In fact, you often learn the most from your mistakes.
When you feel that you can handle more responsibility than you are currently given, it is important to earn your parents’ trust.
A natural reaction might be to resist, act out, or do things secretly, but this does not help build trust. The only thing that truly helps is being honest about your wishes—so talk about them. If you can explain why you want to handle things differently from your parents, you are more likely to be taken seriously. What used to be strict rules now need to become agreements that both sides have a say in—and that includes you!
Sometimes parents may not provide enough support to their children, or they may not know the best way to do so. This can happen if you and your parents don’t communicate enough about what you each need from one another.
Parent Compass
If you talk with your parents and they indicate that they find it difficult to deal with this new situation.
We as Patient Organisation organise multiple events for both people with vascular malformations as well as parents (and brothers/sisters).
