There are a lot of times when I am extremely hard on myself. I have a tendency to compare myself to other people my age who have achieved wonders and will then proceed to mentally shame myself for not having done the same. For so long, I’ve created this narrative in my head that I am a failure who has done nothing with her life thus far. It sounds extremely harsh, I know, but for so long, it has been how I’ve felt internally. The word “should” has undeniably preoccupied my mind for quite some time now.
I “should” have worked harder. I “should” have been married by now. I “should” have done this or that by now. You get the point.
And then, I look at a photo like this, and I have to stop myself in my tracks. Would I ever talk to the girl in this photo the way in which I so harshly tend to talk to myself now?
The girl in this photo was anything but lazy; she was a warrior who fought tooth and nail every day to survive for the majority of her life. She was someone who always did her best to rise to the occasion, even on her worst days. She was nothing short of exceptional and anything but a failure.
My accomplishments may differ greatly in comparison to those of my other similar aged peers on paper, but that doesn’t make them any less significant. It doesn’t make me any less worthy of praise. It doesn’t make me less worthy as a whole.
In 2025, I am striving to treat myself with the same respect in which I treat others. Never in a million years would I EVER talk to a chronically ill person the way in which I have myself. I would find it totally unacceptable. So what makes it acceptable to do to myself?
I am done with self-hatred and shame. I am done with the comparisons.
When I look at the little girl in this picture, it reminds me of all that I’ve done to do right be her. And, I have an obligation to treat the girl in that picture with nothing but love and respect.
I am still that girl in the picture. I may look older, but I am her. I possess the exact same soul. I vow from here on out to love and protect her. ♡
