My name is Arianna Faro. For those who may not have had the chance to read any of my prior writings, I am a 34-year-old woman living with Klippel-Trenaunay syndrome. Throughout the course of my lifetime thus far, I have endured over 100 hospitalizations due to various operations, infections, and blood clots (all of which have been in direct result to having the KTS). For the past year and a half, I’ve experienced a life without any hospitalizations or operations, and I have truly never felt more free or at peace.
For so many years prior when I was extremely sick and in and out of the hospital, I lived not because I myself wanted to, but because I didn’t want to cause my family hurt if anything were to happen to me. Waking up each day, I felt like I had an immense chore list to do, one in which never seemed to dwindle away despite how many boxes I checked away at. Upon arriving home from my last and most recent hospitalization in 2023, I felt devoid of all hope in terms of envisioning a brighter future and better days ahead … it just seemed like the mere thought of ever feeling happiness again was a far off fantasy, one in which I would never get to indulge in. Then, something magical proceeded to happen; my health stabilized for the first time in over half my life.
While I had experienced some hospitalizations, infections, and operations since birth, I did not start experiencing persistent, repetitive, and, quite frankly, relentless hospitalizations until I reached the age of 14. Since then, I have lived half of my life lying in a hospital bed behind closed curtains. Looking back, I am in awe of the strength I possessed throughout those trying and tumultuous years of my life. At times, when I felt as though I had no outlet in which to vent my emotions to, I would sit on the floor while taking hospital showers and just cry my eyes out. I felt that was the only time I could be completely vulnerable, given that no one could hear my cries over the sound of the falling water … not to mention that the water completely evaporated the tired tears that fell down upon my face.
I am proud to say that my life now is a far cry from how it was back then; never again would I ever want to revert back to such dark times filled with such poor physical health and major emotional instability. I recently learned that I will need to have some operations in the Fall due to new emerging KTS symptoms that have been causing me a lot of chronic pain in recent times. While I know the surgeries are undoubtedly in my best interest, I cannot help but dread having to be immersed back into a hospital setting; the mere thought of laying in a hospital bed again sends me into an anxious frenzy. I was diagnosed with medical PTSD last year, and now even stepping foot into a doctor’s office for an appointment is extremely challenging for me. With these upcoming operations and the role of my PTSD, it feels like my freedom could be at stake again, which petrifies me to my core. I am not entirely sure as to how to cope at the moment, but I will continue to share my journey on here as I navigate through the uncertainty in the next couple of months to follow.
Sending immense love to anyone who may be reading this. For anyone who is, thank you for taking the time to follow along on my journey. – Ari
